During a divorce, everyone is anxious. The settled pattern of your existence is about to change significantly and no one is certain of exactly how that will work out. The situation can be unsettling enough for the parents, but they have some small measure of control of how the court proceedings move and with the help of their divorce attorney, understand some of the mechanics of the process. Child anxiety in divorce can be an issue also.
The children, especially if they are young, may be very confused and disoriented by what is happening. Their being anxious is not surprising. However, according to some child experts, you should not brush off their fears. Simply suggesting everything is going to be fine won't cut it. They suggest that you should discuss what it is they are afraid or concerned about during and after the divorce.
At that point, you can help them come up with coping strategies that will help diminish their fears. How this will work will depend on the age of your children and their maturity. One important element to remember is that you will be an important role model for your children’s behavior. If you are frantic and stressed about all aspects of your divorce, it is likely they will behave similarly.
This is why it is important to work to minimize the stress and conflict of the process and work to develop a child custody arrangement that will support this goal. A parenting plan that is very detailed may help to reduce this type of conflict. Parenting plans can also provide talking points that you can use with your children to explain how their custody arrangements will take form.